Released Hinckley “still fancies” Jodie Foster, plans to woo her

John Hinckley Jr. who has been released 35 years after attempting to assassinate Ronald Reagan in a bid to “impress” actress Jodie Foster, has announced plans to renew his attempts to court the now double Oscar winning actress.

“To be honest, I probably came on a bit strong last time, shooting the president and everything,” admits Hinckley. “Apparently she wasn’t “impressed” at all. To be honest, I’m not sure she would have even been that “impressed” if I’d actually managed to kill him. I might just send some flowers this time. Most girls seem to respond better to shit like that.”

Hinckley who admits liking Silence of the Lambs but found Little Man Tate “boring,” is undeterred by the news Foster is now reportedly in a same sex relationship. “Love will find a way,” he says.

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